So I've been doing this online dating thing for almost a month now and I have to say that some revelations have come out of it. 1) Its nice to receive messages from a few males a day, who want to meet you, and sometimes just want to bone you. But at the same time I feel bad for these men because 95% of them I have no interest in and never return their messages. 2) There is a weird limbo between just messaging a guy and finally sealing that coffee date for good. There are a lot of guys who you may find attractive and maybe the stars will align and he will message you! And you think to yourself YESSSSS YESSSSS. BUT WAIT! You can spend days messaging with this online Adonis and still never clinch "the date", so then what's the point really?! I would then have to declare that this guy was “Just not that into me” which is OK I guess, plenty more where that came from right? Which brings me to my third quandary 3) Following “The Rules” is much harder online than one would think. “He's Just Not That Into You” rules state that you should let the guys come to you, which makes online dating so much more difficult.
Here's the classic case that my friends and I face daily, you get a message that you and this cute guy have both given each other high ratings, you can either a) message him or b) wait for him to message you. So then you begin your message relationship, you chat and chat for ever but you really wanna get face to face time with this guy. So you can either a) ask him, or b) wait for him to ask you, either way he always says yes,. But by breaking the rules are you fucking yourself over? Finally the last scenario a guy gives you his number and tells you to text him sometime to set up a date. Hmm see the book would advise against that as well. The pussy is supposed to be pursued, not the penis! So why should I call or text you, and try to organize our pseudo dating alternate universe?! You have to say to yourself though. What do the rules matter!? I mean I'm already 22 and resulting to online dating, and I don't even want a boyfriend or a love story, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.
Although I still follow “the rules” exactly, I did decide to let some of my anxiety about males messaging me go. This is when my new online character “Cyber Slut” was born! Ok let me explain Cyber Slut; she is like my Sasha Fierce in a way. Now don't get all sensitive about the word Slut. That word is so played out, and I don't even believe there is such thing as a Slut in the old school way everyone intends for it to be meant. People just do their THANG and who are we to label them. Play on PLAYA. So anyway back to the birth of "Cyber Slut" I had so much anxiety about talking to guys over message or whatever that I would never answer anyone! Here these men were giving out their best pick up lines or attempting to be genuine with a “hey you seem cool, and you're cute” or my personal favorite “how was your day?” (I still have the message saved and still have yet to respond), and here I am just ignoring them, even though inside of me I kinda wanna reply back. I'm afraid for a few reasons, besides the awkwardness of it all, I'm afraid that he will in fact ask me out and then I'll have to actually confront this person, who is in fact real! What if the date is bad or what if! What if! So many “what ifs”. One day while conveniently watching Sex and the City I decided to just go for it and talk to a bunch of guys, who cares right!? Its just talking, its just getting to know people. And guess what?
That idea is working pretty well. I'm getting used to having a full calendar during the week for dates and I'm also getting used to being viewed by men as desirable or catch-able or whatever you wanna call it. Not only has embodying “Cyber Slut” given me confidence but also I feel I've mellowed out a bit. Now I don't mean to offend when I say this, but I'm finding that men are kind of all the same in a way. They love the chase but they also have feelings too, and they like to send smiley faces over message to be cute (barf!). Even though online dating may be a weird circus, the people in it are just humans in a cyber freak world. These people have hopes and desires and want a connection and I'm learning that even though I shouldn't take the site so seriously to the point where I make myself vomit due to resistance and nerves I should also be more respectful I guess for the brave shouls who put themselves out there. So here's to us brave souls! Cyber Slut is proud to be among you and is really trying to spread her Cyber legs around to all the men out there online. Yep that's what I said and I stand by it, take it how you will :-P, and don't worry I'll start to talk about the dates in the next post, they are entertaining to say the least.
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