Since this blog started I’ve been reminding you all constantly about the “He’s Just Not That Into You” rules. I live by them. I worship them. After reading that book, everything changed in my life. The way I viewed men shifted and I became smarter (I think) and more confident in general.
The rules are simple; let the guys come to you. If a guy wants to ask you out, or call you, or treat you well. He will. If a guy isn’t interested in you he will do things that show you he isn’t interested. For example, not talking to you. “No answer is your answer”, and my favorite philosophy; “Don’t waste the pretty”. Sounds so simple right?
While I end up following the rules 85% of the time, it’s hard to be perfect, because even though we must look at ourselves as “The Rule”, sometimes you just want to be “The Exception”. I’ve been messaging guys a little bit on my own; some have been successful and some not. A majority of the men respond, and we chat or whatever, but it is revealed after a few days that they are kind of dicks, or rather, not dicks, but just not that into me.
The guys that I want to be dating will date me, case in point this message from a guy that I just received; “I won't waste your eyes on needles rambling. Coffee is what I want, just tell me when and where you'd like to share it, along with some memorable conversation.---Evan”. Straight forward, and in it for the pursuit.
The guys I pursue will not necessarily be the ones that want to treat me right. (Aka Bachelor #3) Some guys don't even respond back to my messages, Ouch! Its part of the game I guess. Just like how I ignore messages from guys dail; they have the ability to do the same for me. I’M THE RULE. The thing is though, I have friend who is in fact The Exception. Yes people they do exist! Even though I may be The Rule, I don’t think I should have to wait for males to make a move all of the time.
I keep hearing form my guy friends and reading in magazines that men are nervous too and sometimes they wish a girl would make the first move. So why don't I just try it. Its not like I’m picturing us being soulmates, its more like “Hey you’re cute and your profile is fun lets hang out”. If I’m going to have my Top 20 Countdown be a success then I cant just sit around and wait for all the right guys to show themselves. I need to mix and mingle with the bad one’s too! How else will I know what I want?
Here’s my plan. I’m going to keep track of every guy who's messages I respond to. I will observe how long we message until he asks me out and I’ll take note of how many dates he lasts. I will have another list of the guys I message myself; the guys that I pursue and set my sites on. I'll also keep track of whether we date or not and whether he was the one to in fact ask me out or not, then I will compare the lists and analyze the success rates of both. .
This is going to be challenging to say the least. Not only in terms of keeping track of data but also personally. I’m encouraging myself to go on dates with guys in the traditional way, which is a mind-fuck in itself, but I’m also forcing myself to put it out there. Putting yourself out there is hard, and although “The Rules” state that guys love the chase, being the hunter its not as fun as it sounds. On the other hand this can only help me as a person I believe, facing rejection and also choosing to continue the mission. Little Ms. Passive/Wants to be Liked is about to get an education.
I’m not sure what sparked this new project. I think it had something to do with the handful of hot lawyers that I occasionally work with . They are constantly being hammered by their bosses/ judges (“That’s what he said!”) and they look like frazzled hot messes. It’s so hot, and oh so frazzled. There are two in particular that turn me into a 7th grader every time I see them.
One is a scruffy blonde dude who is a Public Defender (hot) and just always looks like an unorganized, yet confident rag -a-muffin. We met my first week at work. The first few times I had to address a judge in court I was extremely nervous and Scruffy McScruffies was just the nicest to me. Comforting smiles, pats on the back, just delightful (basically he was treating me like a little sister...hmm). Yet every time I see him I get jello legs, and I always wonder what he is like outside of the courtroom. I desperately want to find out, and how else will I know if I don’t just ask him out. There are a few things that could happen to me if I do. 1) He’ll say no (which will result in me being crushed for a few hours and listening to my Ingrid Michaelson Pandora station and eating chocolate) 2) He’s already taken (damn) 3) He’ll say yes. If he says yes then….great more dating adventures to be had.
The second legal prospect is this THICK football player looking lawyer, who has a very calm presence and dark hair. He is an Assistant District Attorney, who always seems to have his shit together, very calm cool and collected. We'll call him Coolie McCoolio. He fills out his suits so nicely and I'm lovin on him. While I was on my way to remove Bachelor #2 from my play list, I spotted Mr. Cool walking down the street with his iPOD, a bag of groceries and beer. He looked so different in street clothes, cuter even. In the romantic comedy that is the tragedy of my life, my character would interpret that my spotting of him was a sign. It means several things 1) He lives in my neighborhood 2) He drinks (yes!) and 3) We should be together????? (In reality I know that's not what that means but just go along with it).
So How do I plan on executing my lawyer double team? I have to plan this strategically and carefully. I need to get to know these men, feel them out. Most importantly test their humor. Perhaps one or two days out of the week I will put on my hottest "Joan" inspired outfit and wander on down to their court rooms, or even perhaps. GASP: Visit The Lawyers Den. Its this room where they all go, to take breaks. I've never been to The Lawyers Den, but I so desperately want to go. I want to see how they act when the spotlight isn't on them, and all those me in suits grrrr. I have to find a way to get into The Lawyers Den that doesn't look completely sketchy. This project is going to take some time to pull off.
In addition to the lawyer hunting game, my brilliant friend Laura has decided to to try one new thing a week as a new years resolution, and I decided that while we are trying these new things, we might as well, try to meet guys as well right? So it is our goal to introduce ourselves more to the opposite sex while we are trying these new things. Overall I'm pretty excited about my new rule breaking philosophy. Secretly I don't believe that breaking the rules will conquer over following them, but if you don't experiment then how will you know? I'll let you know soon!
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