A few nights ago I got an online proposition. This one was different than all the others. It wasn't just “Wanna hook up?” or “Marry Me baby!”. This one was Pretty Woman style and it threw me for a loop. Before we get to the proposition let me just say something about my online dating experience. There is a vast difference between my two dating sites (I got rid of the third one, it was the bastard child). OK Cupid is disguised as a site for love and self esteem. Cupid is designed to cater to your apprehensive and insecure self. OK Cupid says “Hey twenty-something, we know its so hard being you, dateless and needing to cuddle with someone. Mommy will fix everything, not to worry, you're so pretty!”. The site constantly has new matches for you, it encourages you to put yourself out there and always promising you that you will find a decent person to date by Valentines Day, or before you jump off a bridge.
The problem is, even though the site is working its ass off that doesn't stop the guys from being ASSES themselves. There aren't enough pretty pink messages and “Winks” from men you are into you to prevent you from getting the brush off or stood up, or led on. While I appreciate what the site is trying to do, I've grown to resent it. The men seem like dream guys, but they are babies and also afraid of rejection. Maybe in reality everyone on OK Cupid is just too cocky for their own good. I'll admit it, I thought I was hotter than Kim Kardashian and Beyonce's love child when I first joined, then shit started to get real.
This is why Plenty Of Fish is on my favorite things list , (yes I will be releasing a list of my favorite things as a post soon!). When I first started using Plenty Of Fish I was on it just as a back up. It was my mistress, but Cyber Slut needed to make sure she was getting to experience all the hot guys. So I started to think about my options on other sites. Like a mistress, I was embarrassed of Plenty Of Fish, I didn't want to be seen with it, for fear of what my OK Cupid friends would say. It wasn't until I learned that Bachelor #2 was on both sites as well, that I felt OK with it. Even the look of the site is different. It doesn't waste time with colors or hearts or all that shit. Just like someone you're cheating with, the site is not as polished and you know that you could do better. In actuality though after being on the site for about a month I realized that it is amazing for a few reasons. 1) Its honest, it doesn't cater to your needs. Its a site for connections. People meeting people, you have to do the work. There are no daily e-mails sending you potential dating options or messages telling you how special you are 2) I receive about 10 messages a day. If that's not a superficial ego boost I don't know what is. Its every kind of man too! 40 year olds to 19 year olds I find it fascinating. 3) The men are hotter....hands down and there are more of them 4) The men are awesome. Awesome in the sense that they don't pretend to be something they're not. Men on the site let you know what they want up front. Which I can respect, if you're not into their offer then you don't answer. You have to learn to be flattered by the creeper but ignore him and make smart decisions.
Speaking of offers; this one offer or request rather I received the other night I couldn't just delete right away. I was stunned at this boy's approach and was slightly intrigued. While checking my messages as per usual my nightly ritual, I stumbled upon a message from a red headed, scrawny man 19 years of age! The message said something along the lines of. “Hey I leave for the army in 2 weeks and I'm looking for some fun. I would really like to remember my last 2 weeks as eventful rather than boring here's my number”. I was speechless! I mean first of all what about me screams escort? Boobs don't mean escort y'all! Also he was sooooo not my type, he was 5 years too young and although I LOVE redheads (I will marry Rupert Grint) he was just all wrong.
So why did it take me so long to delete his message. I mean it was pretty offensive in the sense that I wasn't looking for what he was offering and I didn't think that I presented myself in that manner, but I had to respect this guy. Why you might ask, because he put it out there. That takes balls, or it takes something. I would never be brave enough to message a hottie for a good time, and he did! Usually guys will just leave me their numbers, emails or PIN numbers on the site but never follow it up with a hooker hook-line!
I would have considered the proposition expect for the fact that 1) I could have been murdered by his crazy ass 2) I can't even have meaningless kissing sessions, much less meaning less sex 3) The only booty calls I've ever been involved in have usually resulted with me locking a guy in my room and me being wasted....yeah not good. Inside I wanted to go so badly, partially because I would get a good story out of it. After a day or so I finally deleted it from my inbox, but I want to give snaps to red-headed pimp for his confidence.
Let this be a lesson for us all; confidence will get you almost anything you want, even an amateur escort for a night out in Rochester. I should go though, there is this doctor who is in town for the week and wants me to give him info about all the hot spots in Rochester (I'm not even kidding). I refuse to be an escort, but tour guide...hmmmm maybe!
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