One Woman Show

A few days ago I saw the touring production of West Side Story. I'm a HUGE Broadway nerd, HUGE and I will see anything, any show....... anything. Since I live 7 hours away from NYC in good old Rochester, and I'm poor, its been a lack luster Broadway season for me. On the other hand I do live one block away from the theater that houses all the Broadway touring performances. In the fall I made a promise to myself that I would see West Side. It never occurred to me that going to see a show alone was such a taboo decision. My friends aren't huge Broadway people, but instead of being excited for me that I was finally seeing the performance they were more concerned, and perhaps horrified that I was seeing the show alone. “You're going by yourself?????!?!!!”.

Um ,Yeah I am.

Here's the deal; Broadway is one of the most special hobbies in my life. It is a religious sermon of music and dance. Why would I not see a show just because I didn't have someone to go with me? First of all you can't talk during a show, its a solo experience, and if you do bring someone you always have to ask what they think about the production or check their face in the dark for reactions. The bottom line is, I worship West Side Story, and I know I'm going to love it, so why do I need somebody else there with me, if I don't feel the need to bring someone. Its 3 hours alone, that's all. 3 hours of musical solitude in which to reflect and connect and feel. Why do I need a partner for that?! (Many people would disagree with me, I know. Some people like to share in the experience of seeing a show, I get it.) I was explaining this to my BFF Katie and she agreed. She also told me that she dinned alone recently. Just her, her food and a book in a nice restaurant. Not many people can do that.

Why cant we do that?!

Why are we so afraid of being alone? Being an only child I can understand. I hate being alone, sometimes I hate living alone, I just want to be around people all of the time. The thing is though alone time is so necessary. So why are we so afraid of it. Why did I get those looks of pity from people who heard that I was going to see a show alone. The instant reaction in my head was “Fuck off! I'm a big girl. I can take my own damn self to a show, love it and be fine with that”. Even if I was in a relationship, or had a friend who wanted to go I don't think I would ask them to come with me.

What bothers me most is that people can't even appreciate the fact that you are doing something alone. There is no celebration or positive acknowledgment for that kind of independence. Whether it is eating alone, seeing a movie alone, or going for a long walk alone. All people can see is that you are 1 person without a plus-1. and 1 is the loneliest number after all. Singles are discriminated against I believe. If you don't have an activity partner, you are pathetic it seems. Maybe this is me just ranting, but you have to admit, people think these things.

Now that our mid twenties are only a couple of years away, many of my friends have started to panic about the rest of their lives. Its time to shack up, time to get the long term live-in boyfriend with the pet and the commitment. It's important to realize though that being alone doesn't mean that you are lonely. It really doesn't. We associate alone with lonely which equals undesired, which means you are ultimately and undesirable candidate for companionship. Why do we do this?

Doing things alone gives me anxiety, and I know there is always a friend I can call if I want to grab coffee or go on a walk, or go shopping, but solitude isn't a prison sentence. In fact for me, its a kind of meditation. The more comfortable we can become being alone with ourselves the easier I believe it is when we in fact to breakup with someone or find ourselves without a partner in this game of life.

Creepin'

Warning: Ladies don't judge me and this blog post, because WE HAVE ALL DONE THIS, leave your pious shit at home, and just accept the fact that we have all creeped.

I'm a creep you guys. I'm an actual creep I know this and accept it. The art of creepin' is established over some years of practice. Some may call it “strategically admiring from a far”, but I've realized that its just being creepy. How creepin' starts, usually begins with a girl laying eyes on a boy who is so attractive that she can't even form words. This boy you end up giving a name to like “Thick Sexy Lawyer Man”, or “Music Store Boy” or “Lettuce Man”. You will lay eyes on this man in the most unexpected place but once you do you cant stop thinking about him. In romantic comedies you would lay eyes on this man and his eyes would magically lock with yours, then he would come over to you (or vice versa) and you would participate in a few minutes of banter followed by a date and, then Cloud 9, then betrayal because he cant commit and then Cloud 9 again because he will come to your job or your coffee shop and say how he was wrong for letting you go. You know. I don't need you remind you that life is not a romantic comedy, so when you lay eyes on your creepin' target don't be surprised when he doesn't look back at you, because how can he. You are making sure he doesn't because he has stunned you and you feel like you would die if you spoke to him.

So you start to plan your creep attack. You go over the location you saw this man in your mind and try to remember the time of day you saw him. For example, you go back to the coffee shop, or the music shop or the courtroom days later to see if he is still there. Creep. Sometimes he is, sometimes he's not but on that rare occasion that he is, you make damn sure that you look your best and position yourself in a location where he can see you from from the best angles. This is the moment where you have to strike up a conversation, convince yourself that you are a strong sexy women going after what she wants, when in fact this man hasn't noticed you before. If you are successful maybe he will fall for your charms. Usually it may not happen and that's when you truly realize you must back off. If this gorgeous man is someone you see everyday then it is sometimes hard to walk away from the addictiveness of creepin', which brings me to my daily creepiness.

The type of creepy I'm referring to is known as “looking at oh so sexy lawyers at work and admiring their sexy lawyer moves but NEVER speaking to them”. Before working at the Rochester City Court I never thought male lawyers could be sexy. Maybe there would be one out of the pack, who was the prodigal son, but never did I imagine there would be a good chunk of them just strolling around court every day. Well at my job its like a sexy buffet of sexy smart men in suits being all kinds of sexy. Since most of my mornings consists of sitting in court with judges and their staff I get the opportunity to look at the hot lawyers daily, but when court lets out they go back to their offices, so all I can do is creep on them. I guess its not deliberately creeping. I cant help it that we both have to work in the same courtroom and that they are sexy, so I stare. I still feel like a creep though. Remember that blog I wrote months ago about how I was going to muster up the courage to talk to one of the lawyers? Well that happened and it didn't go well. Here is the story about how a little alcohol and create a bad situation for a creep. It also taught me how to figure out if you're creeping and when to save yourself. I was going to make this into a separate blog post called “Liquid Courage” but lets not delay the story......

"Liquid Courge"

I've never been brave. Never. People perceive me to be a lot bolder than I actually am. I have no problem admitting that I'm shy. Well, I've been working on this little character trait of mine for sometime. I've blogged about it a little, and I've been taking tiny steps to improve my outgoing nature. You may remember my blog about the “Scruffy Lawyer” man. Well this is the story of how sometimes being brave (and drunk) can make you confess things that you didn't even mean to say.

One Friday afternoon I received a text from my friend Michelle announcing my favorite time of the day: Happy Hour. The idea of happy hour after a less then sensational week sounded like music to my ears. So at 5pm I changed my clothes and headed over to one of my favorite spots; Selena's. Selena's is known for its amazing food and ridiculously strong drinks, perfection. So after about an hour of girl talk and indulgence we decided to to check out some of the art galleries around the city. As we were heading out I saw him. It was Scruffy Lawyer Man! I had a choice then and there. I could keep walking out of the bar, or I could walk right on up to him and um.....talk to him? I grabbed my friend Shannon and told her “Its him its him! I have to say something!”. Shannon being the voice of reason could see how drunk and deluded and I was and told me “NO! Whit, not now.” But all I could see was achieving my goal of talking to the lawyer I hand been creepin on! This was the time! I told Shannon “This could be the night where anything is possible!” You know I love possibilities. So much to her dismay and concern she followed me over to the bar where Scruffy Lawyer Man was. This is where the creeping began. I knew I was being a creep but I told myself that I was being assertive and confident, simply introducing myself to a lawyer from work. After all I want to be a lawyer someday (its true). As I inched my way over to him, I tried to psych myself up. Going over how I would introduce myself, maybe what topics to bring up. I was standing right next to him, and he still didn't noticed (THAT IS HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT YOU BEING A CREEP). After a few seconds of staring at him I decided to act like I had accidentally bumped into him. Here's the transcript of what happened:

Me: Oh Hi!

Scruffy: Hey

Me: I work with Rochester Teen Court! I'm Whitney.

Scruffy: Oh yeah how are you? I'm – (could not hear what he said he name was, and was too drunk and fixated on him to care)

-So we made some small talk about the judge he works for and my dreams of law school yadda yadda. Then it got weird...creepy weird. This is the point I should have SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WALKED AWAY. But no I felt the need to add this...(Note this is the edited version without the drunk babbling, you'll still get the gist)

Me: I just want you to know....I really admire you. You inspire me, how nice you are to all of the people you defend. (Blah blah)

Scruffy: Oh well you know....yeah

Me: Yeah...... (drunk and not understanding)

Scruffy: Well it looks like your friend is getting a little freaked out so.... (Shannon had just been standing there the whole time watching my fall from grace)

Me: Oh yeah, sorry! We should go! Bye????

DO NOT TELL SOMEONE YOU JUST MET THAT THEY INSPIRE YOU, DO NOT.

The End

I still see this man daily at work, and while I have slowly recovered from the mortifying awkwardness. I still could have saved myself the embarrassment. Looking back Scruffy was more of a role model than a sexy man friend-prospect but now I just look crazy to him.

You have to think before you creep, my friends. I cant type about this anymore, I'm getting creeped out so let me just wrap this post up.

The moral of the story is; as exciting as the creep is, its a dangerous game. You mostly look like a crazy person. When I find myself on the precipice of a creep, I try to tell myself “How would you feel if a guy was doing this to you?”. Exactly. Just be brave and introduce yourself in a normal way, and let fate/the man in question take it from there.

"My Most Romantic Day"

 

I LOVE horoscopes, I just love 'em! While I'm a huge advocate of creating your own destiny and being in charge of one's life. Horoscopes are just so great. For one thing my star sign matches who I am perfectly. I am the truest definition of a “Cancer” (look it up). Besides my well suited star sign, its the fact that horoscopes add so much intrigue to your day. What is predicted very rarely actually happens verbatim, but it is somewhat accurate most of the time. To me horoscopes are more about the “Possibility”.

What would life be like without the possibility.? Possibility is pretty much how I get through the day; imagination and creativity, thinking of fabulous new ventures. I love believing that anything is possible and what makes me even happier is when I can turn “non-believers” into supporters of the possibility. So last month when my Elle magazine horoscope told me that May 17^th 2011 was going to be my “most romantic day of the year” hmmmm I wasn't so sure how to take that astrological prediction.

See, I like to create “possibilities” in terms of real life day to day things. For example: who is having an affair with whom, or who is actually a spy or a superhero or something completely fictional ( I have the mind if a 7 year old girl). In terms of my own love life I find that cynicism is the best tactic, not fantasy. So when faced with my quickly approaching “Most Romantic Day” what the fuck was I supposed to do? I'm single, I'm done with dating while in Rochester, and I have no prospects lets be honest. For a single and cynical young women approaching 23 your “Most Romantic Day” sounds to me like: “Your long term boyfriend is going to make you a romantic meal from the Food Network website and massage you. Massage you while you listen to Ray LaMontage”. BORING, cliche, yadda yadda.

The thought of typical romance makes me want to die inside. The go-to safety romance routine that other girls dream of is nothing that I ever want. I don't find it appealing at all. I can pick my own flowers, order my own romantic meal from a menu and hire someone to give me a fabulous massage. This got me thinking “What does romance mean to me?

Well when I think of romance I think of one thing: laughter. A funny man bringing well crafted and kind laughter into my life is the most romantic possibility I can imagine. Laughing is my favorite thing, its a joy from within, and that joy stays in my memories and in my heart much longer than a meal and flowers ever will. Why? Perhaps it's because honest and natural humor comes from inside of a person. If a sexy man friend can make me laugh (provided he treats me well and is a good person etc.) that's all the romance I need. When a man has learned the inner quirks and workings of my weird little brain and has crafted a special joke or bit just for me, that's when I get butterflies. My heart goes “You get me! You know! You're listening”.

Connecting like that to me is more powerful than any other romantic display. This has only happened with one specific guy in my life, and he is long gone. C'est la vie. While I tend to laugh at most things that are mildly amusing, and I do kid around A LOT, it takes a really authentic dude to understand what really makes me happy. What I'm realizing is that in terms of a man in life, I'm looking for someone who can answer this question correctly: “What can you give to me that I can't already give to myself?” or “What are you going to add to my life that makes you and me an awesome team?”. I'm learning that I'm great on my own, materialistically speaking and self esteem wise. It's not about what you buy for me. I have everything I need. It's not about how you compliment me. Words are words.

So when I think about my most romantic day of the year in terms of where I'm at in my life right now I don't know what to think. As May 17th got closer and closer I decided that since I have no “man friend” or any “possibility” of some man friend-romance happening by the date in question, I was going to at least make damn sure my day was fabulous regardless. So I did what any single girl does: I ate chicken wing dip in my sweatpants while watching Real Housewives with my best friend.

I wasn't going to sit around analyzing why I had no man to romance me on my “Most Romantic Day” or wait around for something to happen. That's bullshit. Of course it made me a little bummed, but hey I'm a human, we feel. The omen of romance that loomed over my head made me understand some things. While I love a good horoscope, its pointless to let it dictate your life. A horoscope can provide a good blog post, a self reflection, and even a possibility. It's what you you do with that possibility that dictates how much you'll be laughing-instead of waiting, in the end.

"Reboot"

About a month ago I made the decision to disable my OK Cupid account. Now I find myself wanting to activate it again. Nothing really changed after I removed myself from the site. The only real difference is now my inner circle of friends is currently single...kinda.

Its been nice having the gang back together again. I don't have to meet or hang out with any one's significant other, and we all have buckets of free time, which allows us to run around the city and have a Ke$ha kind of summer. 85 days left in this town seems like a lot of time, but in actuality it is going to fly by.

As I enter the month of June the true beginning of summer, I cant help but wonder “why” do I want to put myself back out there into the cyber dating freak show?

Well when I have a dilemma I usually just dwell on it and make the safe choice. For this dilemma, I think its best to make a Pros and Cons list. Examining benefits and the set backs and the why's as well. Why I want to go back and why I left.

Pros to OK Cupid

1. Meet new guys
2. Challenge myself
3. Build more confidence/ Swag
4. Learn how to deal with guys that don't tip toe around your feelings
5. Realizing that all types of men can be interesting
6. Topics for my blog!
7. Learned that there are some nice guys out there, and most of them are just as messed up as we are

Cons/Why I left the site

1. Some men are sexist assholes who would message you the dirtiest most unnecessary comments
2. Guys on the site didn't want the same things I wanted. (Many men on the site are on it for serious relationships).
3. They never looked/represented themselves the same way in person as they did on the site
4. I never wanted to go on a second date with any of these men after the first
5. 1^st dates become exhausting after a while
6. It's always such a production from the initial sighting of guy question via his profile picture, to the first message exchanged, to setting up the first date to the texting and confirmation and finally the “after the first date” verdict.

OK, so there are 7 Pros and 6 cons. OK. Now lets examine why I've suddenly decided to go back on the site.

-Why Not?

I feel that by posing my profile back on the site, nothing really changes. I've realized that I do

do not have to put pressure on myself to go on a date with a guy if I don't want to. I don't have respond back to a man who I'm not into or a man who is an ass, or feel guilt-ed into going on dates again with guys I don't want to be going on dates with.

I need to start practicing what I'm attempting to preach, which means I need to STOP putting unnecessary pressure on myself. Even if I don't want anything serious, I can still be on a dating site right? Looking for that one guy who might be fun to hang out with. There's nothing to really lose, and you might as well say you tried than hid in a corner, just saying. I think I will keep my profile up when I move to NYC in August as well. I was initially against this idea for many reasons. Reasons that really don't make sense I guess. I still have that perfect fantasy of a sexy Jewish NYC man asking me out at a coffee, shop but until that fabulous day comes I suppose we should take our destiny into our own hands. This time around things will be different! Well.... I know that I will be different. So here's to a more pleasant journey. I hope.

Standstill

I'm conflicted you see. Well lets be honest, when am I not conflicted? I feel stuck in a weird limbo regarding men. The only way I can explain my dilemma is if I can list it below.

1) I'm sick of dating Rochester men, enough is enough. I even disabled my OK Cupid account (gasp!)

2)I'm moving to NYC in 3 months, and I before I leave and have to start over completely in a new city, I want to .....go out with a BANG if you will ;-)

3)I don't want to have a one-night stand in order to "get it in"

4)I DON'T want to date or be in a relationship with anyone

I like my life the way it is. I like making my schedule, or attempting to follow my schedule. I'm already busy enough that I barely have time for anything in my life. I barely have time to write this blog. What I really need is a male friend with benefits. We all know this never works, but what if there was some sort of formula in which you could stumble upon a man who perfectly meets your physical, mental, and emotional requirements? This dream man of course has his own life and isn't pushy, or needy or disrespectful and conveniently shows up at your door when you have some time to kill. This man can keep his personal life to himself as well (Thank God).

I summary all women really want (I've talked to many of my female friends about this) is a guy who is on the same page as them. I've begun to realize that young adult women simply don't have time. We are too busy, and at the same time we are realizing that certain things we may have wanted as a little girl, aren't what we want now. Not all women want to be married and have children by age 25. We have goals of our own. We have places to visit all over the world and deadlines to meet, and in my opinion I shouldn't have to factor a man into my life over my dreams. There are billions of men all over the world and wherever I got on my path, there will always be a man in the vicinity that I'm at. Just because I want to “get some” doesn't mean that I should have to hang on to a boyfriend who isn't on the same page as me. Yeah we can talk about love and long term on another blog post. I honestly believe that if love is right then no one is going to have to sacrifice and there will be a mutual understanding and progression. There are kind, comforting men everywhere and I'm not going to stay with one if he isn't heading in the same direction I am. Its all about me right now, sorry.

I'm not just conflicted because I can't find a guy on the same page as me, I'm conflicted because I keep receiving pressure from my friends to have sex with someone, to just "get it over with" after such a long time of not having any sex. It's been  while. Being in a dry spell sucks, I'll admit, but it doesn't drive me crazy. I can still carry on about my day, being fabulous and achieving all of my goals. It seems like lately I've been feeling like certain people in my life are treating me as their special project. While I greatly admire my friend's confidence and swag to "get theirs" and have casual sex or one night stands. That is so not me. I think too much about things, and I don't believe that a stranger is worthy of my "milkshake". I need to KNOW YOU, so I can know that you are going to respect what I have to give. A man should feel honored to get with this. How well you get to know me and how well you treat me is in direct proportion to how great our sex will be, in my opinion. That doesn't mean at all that you need to buy me dinner, fix my sink, meet my parents, or buy me flowers, that's not what I'm trying to say. The thing is I'm not just going to scan you out of a crowd and let you put it in. I can give myself an orgasm on my own, the sex toy industry is successful for a reason. It's not about that. I don't want some man laying on top of me while I wonder who he really is.

I'm sorry but I don't think I should have to feel bad about wanting those things. I understand my friends want to help me, but letting some guy fuck me changes nothing, because in the end he was just "some guy". The amount of sex I have doesn't make me anymore fabulous than anyone else. To be honest A LOT less people are having sex than you think. Men are predictable and all the same (no offense to my guy friends, you are great, but predictable). I can tell when a guy wants to get physical with me, the moves are all the same. You can totally see it in their eyes, they aren't subtle. The tipping point in terms of whether or not I'll sleep with you has nothing to do with how horny you show me you are or how “into me” you are. It has to do with YOU and YOUR BRAIN and how well you go about KNOWING ME. It sounds like I'm saying I want to be in a relationship, I want to be intimate on an emotional level. No, thats not what I meannnnn!

Conflicted, obviously I know

I don't really think I'll change how I feel about this issue, no matter how much I may like to check “Have a one night stand” off my bucket list. Although I hate not being  able to experience all sides of life and see things from other people's perspective. There was a time when I let crazy asshole boys into my life and to be honest I can't even remember how good the physical activity was because the impact of how insecure, pushy, needy, insensitive, and unavailable they were is what I remember the most. I don't look at a guy who is attracted to me and think “We have to have sex”, because I know there are more just like him out there. Why wouldn't I be picky? The way someone goes about having sex, and doing thier thing is their own business and is equally as fabulous as any one's approach. I just seem stuck on one side, and I'm trying to see the other side, I'm really trying, I'm just conflicted. Ugh.

Start Spreading the News

Life is happening everyday at a constant pace all around me! While months ago I may have felt like I was drowning in all of it, trying to find my place in this mix, I finally have reached a nice current to wade in. I'm off to New York City! Finally, my dream of living in NYC for a year has come true. A new job, a new outlook, and new adventures that await. So now that I only have exactly 90 days left in Rochester I can't help but wonder: How do I want to spend those 90 days?

Looking back, it's been good ride. When I first decided to start a blog it pretty much consisted of the ramblings of a twenty something girl living alone in a city trying to figure it all out. Whatever “it” may be. Then “And I Cant Help But Wonder” became the some sort dating chronicles. The adventures of a self titled “cyber slut” and her quest for her perfect “man friend”. Hopefully someone of the Jewish-Rugby player variety who would treat her like a princess and never annoyed her. Now I'm not really sure what my blog has become. I'm very proud of it though regardless. I never thought I would receive any feedback, much less positive feedback from people who enjoy it. To put something out into the universe that not only you enjoy, but other people can find joy in, is such a rewarding feeling that I never thought I would find.

One thing I know for damn sure about this blog is that it's lacking posts. I'm slowly but surely getting my act together, catching you all up on the last few months of my life no more waiting for months I promise. I   definitely think I'll keep going with “And I Can't Help But Wonder” when I get to New York., I'm even wondering if this could possibly be a book someday. Don't be mad at me, I don't think I;m an accomplished author by any means, but if freaking Snookie and Lauren Conrad can be authors, so can I dammit. Whatever happens with my lovely blog I know it will be fabulous, and I'm making a promise to myself here and now, to stay true to me, and to you the reader, while always staying ahead of the pack.

“Here's to the ladies who brunch”

After a busy week and most likely a drunken Saturday night; nothing brings me more joy than Sunday Brunch with my girls. The evolution of Sunday Brunch started about 3 or 4 months ago. Laura had an exciting date scheduled with a man who liked to Tango (seriously! Tango!) She was meeting him for brunch in one of the many swanky cafes our neighborhood possesses. Well since Becca, Shannon and myself had a free Sunday morning, we decided to do a little brunch of our own. We couldn't help it if our brunch was at the restaurant next door to Laura's cafe, right?

Out of all the great ideas we have had, I must declare that Sunday brunch is one of the best. You will never feel as glamorous and as grown up as you do at Sunday brunch. It is every twenty-something female hipster's delight. Relaxing in your jeans and pashmina scarf, while feasting on eggs over medium. From that very first Sunday we vowed that we would keep Sunday brunch a tradition. As we finished our delicious meal we realized that Laura hadn't texted us yet to meet up. Which could only mean one thing: She was STILL on her date. Hmmmmmm. Well well well, things must have been heating up. Since the three of us had nothing on our schedules for that Sunday afternoon (aka no lives of our own), we decided to wait it out. This game is also known as “Lets creep around Park Avenue until Laura is done with her date”. And creepin is exactly what we did my friends.

We walked up and down the block. Looking in stores, looking in the restaurant window where Laura was. As I write this I realize how weird this sounds, but trust me it was a lot more fun and exciting at the time. We as humans often fail to realize that “spy mode” to us is actually considered stalker mode to others. The three if us finally decided to settle in at the sandwich shop directly across from Laura's location and grab some tea. About an hour and a half had gone by, so we were pretty curious as to what this guy was all about. What could they be doing in there? Had she found Mr. Right? Will she ever join us on our single ladies brunches? Or would she never get to experience it with us!?

If you are single woman and you decide to go out in public on a Sunday afternoon you'll probably want to retreat after an hour or so. Why you may ask? Well, all of the damn couples. Everyone decides to couple up and parade around on Sunday morning/afternoon, Park Ave is deadly during this time. Couples of every shape, size, age, race are out holding hands strolling along, smiling and dining out. Couples can usually be spotted dressed casually in sweatpants (probably because they casually rolled out of bed after having crazy morning sex and now its time to display their love while eat waffles or whatever), besides they don't have to impress anyone! Who cares!? Sometimes the couples can be seen accompanied by pets, or parents or siblings...or all three.

If you are a single girl, no matter how fabulous and fierce and independent you may be. I don't care if you just had the best no-strings attached one night stand the night before. When you step out into the “Danger Zone” on a Sunday afternoon all you can think is “What the hell is going on? Damn all this cuteness. FML. I want a boyfriend”. Pathetic I know.

Well I had my girls at my side this one dangerous morning. While we waited for our break out dating superstar: Ms. Laura, we watched all of the couples and we decided to play a little game. I highly suggest you all play. The name of the game is “1 to 100”: you sit in a crowded area and check out all of the men. If you would in fact sleep with the man in question you tally him down on your piece of paper. By the end of an hour or so you count up all your men and compare you scores. A good amount of time in our “screw by numbers” game, we noticed that Laura was almost THREE HOURS into her date! Then.....we saw her very own Bachelor #4. They were walking right past our cafe window! Thankfully she didn't see us, and we were able to get a pretty good look at her date. He received mixed reviews on his “bone-ability” but he was Laura's man, not ours. After a few minutes of staring at them while they said their good byes, we immediately called her and commanded her to come join us.

While the origin of Ladies Sunday Brunch was born out of a a spy mission, and it has evolved into a great tradition. As a result of one random afternoon we realized how important our friendship had become. Our year in Rochester was just beginning, filled with fears, hopes, and expectations. We may not have all of the answers but on that Sunday in the coffee shop we knew we had each other. Now instead of venturing out into the couple filled landmine that is our neighborhood; we host Ladies Brunch on our own. Cooking together, catching up on the week, discussing whatever is on our minds. Not only can we stuff our faces but we can also do it in our pajamas. Don't worry we haven't let ourselves go. Every now and then we'll put on our Sunday best and head over to the Drag Brunch; the Mecca of brunches.

So why am I writing about Sunday brunch? Why is it even a relevant topic to this blog? Well I believe that as a result of brunch my sanity has been somewhat restored. Men may come and go, people may piss us off at work, we may not meet our own expectations for the week, and we may just wind up feeling a little lack luster; but we can always count on Sunday afternoons filled with good food, good conversation and good friends. I would take that over morning sex and brunch with my man's parents any day of the week. Maybe some day I'll feel different but for right now, Single Sunday is exactly where I want to be.