"My Most Romantic Day"

 

I LOVE horoscopes, I just love 'em! While I'm a huge advocate of creating your own destiny and being in charge of one's life. Horoscopes are just so great. For one thing my star sign matches who I am perfectly. I am the truest definition of a “Cancer” (look it up). Besides my well suited star sign, its the fact that horoscopes add so much intrigue to your day. What is predicted very rarely actually happens verbatim, but it is somewhat accurate most of the time. To me horoscopes are more about the “Possibility”.

What would life be like without the possibility.? Possibility is pretty much how I get through the day; imagination and creativity, thinking of fabulous new ventures. I love believing that anything is possible and what makes me even happier is when I can turn “non-believers” into supporters of the possibility. So last month when my Elle magazine horoscope told me that May 17^th 2011 was going to be my “most romantic day of the year” hmmmm I wasn't so sure how to take that astrological prediction.

See, I like to create “possibilities” in terms of real life day to day things. For example: who is having an affair with whom, or who is actually a spy or a superhero or something completely fictional ( I have the mind if a 7 year old girl). In terms of my own love life I find that cynicism is the best tactic, not fantasy. So when faced with my quickly approaching “Most Romantic Day” what the fuck was I supposed to do? I'm single, I'm done with dating while in Rochester, and I have no prospects lets be honest. For a single and cynical young women approaching 23 your “Most Romantic Day” sounds to me like: “Your long term boyfriend is going to make you a romantic meal from the Food Network website and massage you. Massage you while you listen to Ray LaMontage”. BORING, cliche, yadda yadda.

The thought of typical romance makes me want to die inside. The go-to safety romance routine that other girls dream of is nothing that I ever want. I don't find it appealing at all. I can pick my own flowers, order my own romantic meal from a menu and hire someone to give me a fabulous massage. This got me thinking “What does romance mean to me?

Well when I think of romance I think of one thing: laughter. A funny man bringing well crafted and kind laughter into my life is the most romantic possibility I can imagine. Laughing is my favorite thing, its a joy from within, and that joy stays in my memories and in my heart much longer than a meal and flowers ever will. Why? Perhaps it's because honest and natural humor comes from inside of a person. If a sexy man friend can make me laugh (provided he treats me well and is a good person etc.) that's all the romance I need. When a man has learned the inner quirks and workings of my weird little brain and has crafted a special joke or bit just for me, that's when I get butterflies. My heart goes “You get me! You know! You're listening”.

Connecting like that to me is more powerful than any other romantic display. This has only happened with one specific guy in my life, and he is long gone. C'est la vie. While I tend to laugh at most things that are mildly amusing, and I do kid around A LOT, it takes a really authentic dude to understand what really makes me happy. What I'm realizing is that in terms of a man in life, I'm looking for someone who can answer this question correctly: “What can you give to me that I can't already give to myself?” or “What are you going to add to my life that makes you and me an awesome team?”. I'm learning that I'm great on my own, materialistically speaking and self esteem wise. It's not about what you buy for me. I have everything I need. It's not about how you compliment me. Words are words.

So when I think about my most romantic day of the year in terms of where I'm at in my life right now I don't know what to think. As May 17th got closer and closer I decided that since I have no “man friend” or any “possibility” of some man friend-romance happening by the date in question, I was going to at least make damn sure my day was fabulous regardless. So I did what any single girl does: I ate chicken wing dip in my sweatpants while watching Real Housewives with my best friend.

I wasn't going to sit around analyzing why I had no man to romance me on my “Most Romantic Day” or wait around for something to happen. That's bullshit. Of course it made me a little bummed, but hey I'm a human, we feel. The omen of romance that loomed over my head made me understand some things. While I love a good horoscope, its pointless to let it dictate your life. A horoscope can provide a good blog post, a self reflection, and even a possibility. It's what you you do with that possibility that dictates how much you'll be laughing-instead of waiting, in the end.