During my daily lunch with Laura and Mark I was trying to get their opinion on some blog topics, when I had somewhat of a revolutionary thought pop into my head.
Men and women are doomed.
Why you might ask? I realized that with the exception of a few of my guy friends, every other man I talk to will never ever get to know the real me, that's right I'm a fraud. We all are. Ladies, think about all of the men you've spoken to in the past month . Think about how the majority of the time you were talking to them you weren't even hearing the words they were saying; because you were so worried about what brilliant sexy funny thing you were going to say next. When we talk to men and women it isn't to connect anymore its for our own self gratification. We force ourselves to paint a picture of our fantasy selves and we sell it to our latest consumer.
Young adults are so paralyzed with the thought of pairing off that we will literally say anything to sell ourselves to someone. Just the temporary thrill of not being alone even if you don't like who the person is. Think of your friends and think about how great they are; then reflect on how they act in a relationship. There is such a contrast to the free spirit you get to see and the “couple self” their partner sees. Nine times out of ten they are holding back, hiding and faking it because God forbid their flame see the real them. There is so much drama and angst in the whole couples thing its exhausting and harmful to our inner sunshine. Why cant people smile more at bars?! Its because everyone is so uptight and panicked in their own head. The classic term “hook up” in fact is a hang up! Is blocks us from so much. First of all “hook up” can mean sooooo many things, from make out to oral to full on “lets fuck”, I'm never quite sure what my friends are referring to when they say we “hooked up”. And why does it even matter, why do we have this new life mantra. Its causing nothing but a world of trouble. I get that we are all horny, believe me I do, but looking back on how I've dealt with that in my past is just a mess. I will forever have a strained and frustrating relationship with certain men because of the way we handled whatever we were doing. When looking back we could have been great friends, they obviously weren't “Mr. Right” but now they are “Mr. We made mistakes you need to not exist- let me ignore you when I see you”
What happened to just getting to know someone as a human being, a person to meet and learn from? Not as your potential next orgasm, boyfriend, girlfriend, heartbreak, or spouse. If you don't romantically designate someone you just met (we all do this admit it) then you probably wont write them off after a half hour of conversation, why? Because now there is something more to the person then just as your other half . We start off first putting the people we meet into categories, then shaping ourselves to fit into the categories we have just put them in. We often fail to present ourselves to others as just us, humans, young and alive, positive peace lovers. I think if we let all of the pressure go, everyone would be more successful in many ways. 1) we would all have more friends 2) the people you probably thought you would never end up with may just surprise you. When you get to the heart, get to the human connection, that's when the real fun can begin. When there is no pressure, no labels no neurosis you can truly feel most like yourself in the scariest and most rewarding way possible.
Mark my words but I believe the genuine relationship will and must make a comeback or we will all go crazy.
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