You know what I hate? The “that girl” we all know this person who is mildly attractive, somewhat off putting but a HIT with the opposite sex. She can talk like the boys, and make fun of the boys, and they all fucking eat it up. And at the same time she is not interested in any of them. She is usually single or has some weird situation with one of them that is in fact like Michelle Branch song and the guy is Michelle Branch. I've known so many of these girls and they are easy to spot right away. These girls have mastered the art of flirting like there is no tomorrow. Flirting is key, its an art its a game for both sexes. Its how you get in but still stay out of the actual physical zone with all your “bros” or girls that are “just friends”.
My latest encounter with this specimen is someone from my a cappella group. Every Sunday I sit back and watch as she tells stories of nonsense to everyone penis in the room and with each passing hour of flirting she seems to acquire more and more solos in our group. Why is this you ask? I couldn't tell you! Only she knows.
Flirting is a dangerous and weird game. I don't understand it at all. When I try to flirt I feel like a desperate newly single cougar trying to get anyone to give a damn, that's not cute...just sad. What flirting has really turned into these days is shallow verbal foreplay. A type of oral sex in which we are basically have sex with our words. As young adults we don't necessarily try to get by on the qualities which make us stand out. We try to get by on the qualities that we see everyone else has and is comfortable with. Instead of telling an anecdote about something honest and silly, we go for the easy sexual come-ons and easy convo starters.
We all do it, I remember when I was younger and I thought that I needed to change everything about myself for boys because being "the norm" was better than standing out. I would say the lines I heard on Laguna Beach and try to calculate my every move. It was exhausting. The performance of flirting has become so tiring and somewhat destructive. The more time I spent trying to be someone else the more lost I became. It took a very long time to get back to me, and I am finding out that by being who I truly am, is in a weird way my own couture brand of flirting. Not overly sexual and dumbed down, but just honest and comfortable. I truly believe when you become comfortable with yourself you are able to play and unwind with someone in the best way. Its much more fun and not rehearsed.
So what have I learned. Well, twenty something guys are just as complex as girls and while I have yet to successfully study the male brand of flirtation I will try and get back to you. So ladies, you do you, there are many like you. Keep flirting according to what Cosmo magazine says and I will keep studying you, and your targets because there is more to this story then just my one sided observation filled low self esteem and rediscovery. But keep in mind, there will be no ass kissing from me to you or your disciples. There is a single girl in all of us too and some single guys who like to flirt once and a while with a like minded person who understands the game. Its not about finding a soul mate I guess, but maybe fulfilling a lonely gap for a little bit. That's pretty much what everyone wants anyway right? A little attention.
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