Oh yeah I went on a date with Bachelor #4, this was actually months ago. Like in January? Needless to say; considering its taken me this long to write about him, he wasn't that memorable. Bachelor #4 taught me a valuable lesson though about preconceived notions. Although you may think you have a good idea of who a potential man mate is simply based on messaging and pictures; in reality you don't know shit. Lets go back, lets go back, lets go way back way back when. All the way back to about 3 months ago... I think. The day that Bachelor #4 decided to contact me.
This experience was so forgettable that I barely remember it. I do remember that this date with Bachelor #4 was shortly after Bachelor #3 decided to treat me like shit, and while I wasn't that attracted to Bachelor #4 (well from what I could see in his pictures) I decided I needed a person with a penis to flatter me. You know, to help me recover from the scares of my bad date past. This is what I remember vaguely about our online messaging banter. Let me just list it all.
-He messaging me, calls me beautiful or something
-I respond trying to sound cool. I check his profile out but come to find he is a whiny emo boy who gives you false promises of sexual favors in his self summary.
-We find out more about each other, and he makes a suggestion to take photos of me since he is a photographer (I almost died of uncomfortableness). Its cool if you think I'm “stunning” but just leave it at that.
-I make some more comments to try and re-direct the conversation , I complemented him on his photos, (he of course gave me the web address to his online portfolio)
-Over the course of a few days Bachelor #4 invites me out for coffee
-We decided on my usual coffee and I very much appreciate his investment in the date considering that bachelor #3 SUCKED.
So at 7pm on Thursday night (my classic date time and day) with a tinge of optimism in my heart, I met Bachelor #4 for coffee. As I approached the doors of the cafe I noticed an emo looking kid just crouching against this brick wall, hair in his face and I could smell his hipster apathy from a mile away. I thought to myself “Oh God is this Kyle?” (Bachelor #4's name). Yes, it in fact was Kyle. I have to tell you that the moment we looked at each other we both knew, it was not happening. Knowing we might as well go through with it, we sat down and had coffee.
I cant even explain the date. It was the usual “interview” format, but this kid just acted like he was too cool for anything. When his hair wasn't constantly in his eyes he was flipping it all over the place. The only thing interesting about the boy was that he was a photographer for my favorite newspaper. He had no sense of humor and I was drowning because he clearly wasn't getting me. When I sense that people think I'm weird or uninteresting I resort to “Liz Lemon Mode” I basically do a stand up routine that consists of weird voices, jokes and awkward statements. Its my internal panic button, and believe me I was pressing the panic button HARD on this date. After about an hour I used my go to get out of jail card: “I'm so sorry but I promised my friend I would go to her birthday party”. Pretty much any party works; housewarming/ got a new job party/engagement party etc.
So we awkwardly got up and went our separate ways. There was no “good game” hug this time around and I swear that I heard him actually laugh as he said “goodbye” to me! Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess. I have to say the experiences of Bachelors 3 and 4 have given me a thicker skin, and lets be honest; those experiences have also given me a bit of cynicism about men. Its OK though. I think that now I”ll just take my dates with a grain of salt. While I am still hopeful that there are some good men out there, I truly feel that MY man is NOT here in Rochester. Maybe my problems is that I fantasize too much about exactly what I want. I cant help it though, without my imagination I have nothing to look forward too.
It still boggles my mind how Bachelor #4 could be so incredibly into me online, even asking me to pose for his photos then turn around and treat me like a leper. But at the same time I have to admit every guy I've gone out with this year has disappointed me. They always seem more exciting in my head. Sexier, funnier and better looking (I'm sorry if this is shallow). Then upon meeting them I have to catch my bearings. They we not what I was expecting....
I still have the hope that eventually I will meet a man who lives up to all of my expectations, and I really don't expect that much. At least I don't think I do. Do I? I suppose I didn't live up to Bachelor #4's fantasy, and that's cool with me, he'll always have my online profile pictures to gaze at if he ever gets bored and wants to use his imagination.
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