Fleeting Thought #6: Gimmie and Beat!

I have a few unnecessary burning desires I will admit, but one in particular has been preoccupying my mind lately (yes more than the powers of teleportation!). The dilemma of having my own theme music. I'm a pretty expressive person, but sometimes my facial commentary just isn't enough to get my point across. I work better through song and sassy choreography.

The benefits of having life turn into a musical montage is that you can pull a Beyonce or a Gaga. A.ka. look like a crazy bitch, yelling riffing in a sparkling onesie and have it be OK, because its for the sake of the performance. Just blame Sasha Fierce. If it was socially acceptable to blame “Whit-Nay Fierce” for all my diva-isms trust me I would stay in character pretty much all of the time while I was in public. If celebrities like Niki Minaje (I have no idea how you spell her name and I don't care enough to check) and Elton John can have alter performance egos then why oh why cant I?

I'm not quite sure what suddenly revved up my musical aspirations of diva-hood. Maybe its the fact that GLEE has continued to let me down week after week. Or maybe its the new inspiration I'm receiving from Gaga's come back. Either way this cry for more attention is a clear indicator of a winter slump. Hmmmmm.

Love ME Madly

I've been toying around with an idea for the month of February. It's a little something I like to call “Valentines MONTH”. A month created for ME by ME. Now Don't get me wrong, I love Valentine”s Day. I'm a mush remember? If you are in a relationship on Valentines Day, get it! Is it worth it? Lemme work it! I believe all tacky and fabulous holidays aka Valentines Day, Superbowl, Fourth of July, the day before Thanksgiving should be done right! Live it up to the fullest.

For the past two years I have even taken it upon myself to host a St. Valentines Day Massacre. A day of fashion, friends, excess, booze, club beats, lovin', and hot mess results. What a better way to spend the day then running through the snow from college bar to college bar belligerent with your single guys and girls, its amazing. Unfortunately since I'm a big girl now and not rolling deep on the Binghamton University campus anymore, the Massacre has since been passed on to my successors.

Speaking of single. I sure as hell still am. I'm actually kind of glad, if that makes any sense. While I still have an active account on OK Cupid, and participate in the occasional messaging tete-a-tete. I have no more desire to be aggressive with the whole dating game. I still have to dish about Bachelors #4 and #5 with you all and the lovely crew of men I met the club a few weeks ago. But in terms of Mr. Right Now I'm like “eh whatever”. I know its lame! I blame the seasonal depression and I'm pretty sure that once the flowers bloom again so will my optimism, aggression, and sunny disposition. As for my present situation, I'm having fun just seeing where my day takes me and what guys I happen to meet along the way. Life is a lot more hilarious when you just relax.

I feel like I've been so focused on these damn websites and other trivial matters that I've lost sight of what is really important: ME!!!!!! I've let myself get lost; mind, body and spirit. Instead of celebrating me I've been trying to conform myself into a girl who is appealing to online strangers! I've been lowering myself to the shitty treatment of online Jo Schmoes. Big NO NO!

If I'm not as  fierce and fabulous as I can be, then what is the point of dating someone anyway?! While I preach self love and body love constantly, it is sometimes easy to slip up and crossover to the land of the insecure. A woman willing to please at any cost, or willing to blame herself first. Remember y'all I'm a Joan NOT a Betty Draper.

So that is when Valentine's Month came into play. I guess I should tell you all how I actually spent Valentine's Day. Well, I worked until 7:30 then my good friend Shannon and I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 7 part 1,  again for 75 cents. We laughed, we cried, we felt awkward watching the naked cartoons make out...again. And we oggled Ron's hotness and rage. (Why am I the only person who is openly sobbing at the end?! Dammit Dobby I just love you too much! ). I know, we're revolutionaries.  Its been years since I've actually had a Valentine and already by age 22 the novelty has worn off. If I ever find a suitable man mate, Valentine's Day will be a day of weird and fun activities, like knitting classes and bar crawls. None of that cute shit, and this future man mate better be accepting of the Valentine's Month, which I will be keeping forever.

Everyone deserves a Valentine's Month, it's that crucial time in winter where you are so tired of the fucking snow and not seeing the sun, and eating junk and being lazy that you need to bounce back from loathing. Since its the shortest month of the year there's no guilt! Take the month to try something you always wanted to. Go shopping just for you. Or start eating those healthy foods that you have been avoiding all winter. That's one of my pursuits for the month, getting healthy again! Its about spoiling yourself. You should be your own Valentine. I don't feel anymore guilt about spoiling myself or promoting extreme high self esteem, because you know what, this is the only time in my life where I can act completely selfish and have if be OK. So why not. Treat every day like a Ke$ha song before its too late. Now go out there and get a massage! You only have two weeks left!